All's Fair in Love and War
by Yeddi
Summary: Bella is not who she appears to be. Her relationship with Edward - unknown to him - was pretence. What is she really up to? And what are the consequences of finding love in the arms of a certain werewolf. A story of love, loyalty and betrayals.
1. Chapter 1 Little White Mouse

_**Hello everyone, this is my first attempt at a fanfic, so please provide advice in any areas that need improvement. I have a very thick skin, so I wont get offended. :)**_

_**I decided to write this fic, not only because of the idea was interesting to me but because it gave me the opportunity to write a different type of Bella, 'cause I'm going to be honest with you, I find the normal Bella characterisations infuriating. Bella's often depicted as having a serious case of narcissism and its subset people pleasing syndrome, and she makes me want to punch her in the face - quite a feat considering she is a fictional character. Edward isn't much better, fitting the profile of a sociopath. I want character's with faults that they have to overcome, not necessarily one's with personality disorders.**_

_**So I'm going to be upfront with the fact I'm a wolf pack girl. They are, after all, the healthier choice. I also don't mind Jasper, that's the only Bella/Vampire relationship I can see working in the long run. Anyway, enjoy. :)**_

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><p><strong>CHAPTER ONE – Little White Mouse<strong>

Thank God this shit was almost finally over. I had done my duty, played my part, and I couldn't wait to get on with my life; there was just this final act to get through.

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me," Edward said.

_Good, 'cause you smell like roadkill. _I'd lost count of the number of times I had seriously been tempted to pull a page out of The Silence of the Lambs handbook and place ointment under my nose just to be around him, but it might have given me away.

"You…don't….want me?" I said in the most pathetic, china doll impersonation I could muster. That pseudo-personality trait really did seem to flick his bic, and I hoped that staying true to character wasn't going to change his mind.

"No" he said, trying his hardest not to let any emotion show.

_Hey, no skin off my nose._

"Well, that changes things."

So far everything was going according to plan…

I sat on the forest floor and idly wondered how long I would need to act all emo to pass for an having had an acceptable morning period when losing the supposed "love of one's life".

I had crumpled here in melodramatic fashion after Edward left to keep up the pretence of heartbreak just in case he was watching from afar, but after about an hour my arse was getting all numb from sitting on the cold dirt. Also thinking of my dead cat Gizmo, who had found her untimely end under the rims of the my next door neighbour's car when I was eight, no longer had any effect on my ability to produce tears, which didn't leave me much else to work with so I decided to call it a day.

I got up and slowly trudged my way back towards the house, this time without the accidently-on purpose attempts to catch a few roots with my toes along the way – there was no longer any need to play the damsel in distress.

The driveway was still devoid of the police cruiser when I got home - that gave me some time to clean up before having to deal with Charlie. Making my way upstairs, I eagerly grabbed my toiletries and some clean clothes and ducked into the shower. I let the hot water kneed my cold skin. I hate the cold - that was one of the few things I didn't lie about.

After I finished I went down stairs and was making dinner in the kitchen, the typical and unexciting combination of steak and potatoes, when I heard the front door open heralding Charlie's arrival home.

"Hey Bells, smells good." He said as he hung up his gun belt.

"Yeah, almost done" I called out "Can you set the table?"

Charlie entered the kitchen with a strange expression on his face.

"Ur, sure."

I smothered a chuckle at his obvious confusion at my request as he started to grab cutlery out of the drawer.

Some would say my dad was easy going and that's why we got along so well. I however thought it was more along the lines of him having a bad case of apathy. I mean really, was it too much to ask for him to participate with helping me in small ways with dinner rather than simply going and watching TV while I served him. I had often felt as though I was nothing more than a live in maid and cook. The only time we ever had any real interaction was when he tried to go all dictator on me and tell me not to do something, or give me his negative opinion on my choices. Like that was going to fly without having established any form of meaningful relationship; a couple of weeks over summers didn't cut it. Don't get me wrong, I loved my dad, but his behaviour only seemed to provoke my human tendencies towards teenage rebellion. It wasn't something I had tried to rectify at first due to the Edward situation, however things were going to change now that he was out of the picture.

I served up dinner and we both sat eating in an uneasy silence, Charlie throwing speculative glances my way.

"So anything new going on with you, Bells. You look…different."

I didn't realise my demeanour had changed so much now that I was free to be myself. Perhaps I was a little too peppy, I might need to tone it down a bit, at least until the end of the week. That's all it should take with my memory being "no more than a sieve" and all – pretentious prick. Ah, there we go, I was now angry enough for my expressions to pass for angst.

"Edward and I broke up. The Cullen's are moving."

"Oh…I guess I'm…sorry to hear that." Charlie said in an epic fail to comfort.

I couldn't help it, I snorted. "Yeah right dad, I know you hated him."

"I did not hate him - dislike immensely perhaps, but not hate."

My dad always did have good instincts, I was no longer going to encourage him to ignore them. I sighed.

"Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore."

"You going to be okay?"

Charlie was clearly uncomfortable. We were heading into territory where emotions were going to be discussed. To him this was akin to describing the draining of a boil on a fat and hairy man's backside, a necessary evil.

"I'll be fine."

"That's good to hear," he said before quickly engaging in shovelling food down his throat again in the hope that it was the end of the discussion.

"I was thinking though, now that I've got lots of free time and all…"

"Hmm."

"We should start having daddy daughter dates."

Charlie almost choked on his potatoes.

"You know setting aside a specific time for us to do things together, just the two of us."

I took a long sip of my drink watching him contemplate my suggestion.

"What sort of things?"

"I don't know, maybe we could go shopping…"

Charlie's face had morphed into a mask of pure terror before I had even finished the sentence. Shopping - another evil.

"…at the hardware store for some paint."

"What do you want to get the paint for?" He asked with such obvious relief it was hysterical. I had to use all my training to keep a straight face.

"Well, I'm eighteen now, but my room looks almost exactly the same as it was the day I was born. I thought perhaps we could celebrate my turning of age by renovating my space together, make it look a little more adult."

While it was true that I wanted my room to reflect my personality a bit more, the main reason I wanted to redecorate was so I could rid of the stench that now seemed to have permeated even the walls.

"Okay, we can do that." Charlie knew it could be worse, and this was a perfectly acceptable way for a man to bond with his daughter without looking like he was losing his balls.

I quickly finished dinner, and washed up my own dishes, leaving Charlie to do his own.

"I've got a ton of homework, so I'll see you in the morning dad."

Charlie just nodded as he placed his own dish in the drainer. "Okay Bells, have a good night," he said as he moved off towards the couch and whatever game was currently on television.

As soon as I got upstairs I quietly closed my door and pulled my desk chair over and wedged it under the handle. One of the first things I was going to do was install a lock on my door. I also went and checked the window, making sure it was locked and the curtain was pulled across.

When I was positive I wouldn't be witnessed, I opened up the bottom drawer of my desk and removed the false bottom to reveal my tiny Mac Air laptop. Plugging in the mobile broadband, I dialled up, and logged on to my account. Then, after a moment of contemplation I began to type up what I expected to be my last mission report.

If only life was that convenient!

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><p><em><strong>AN: I've yet to decide whether this will be a Jacob, Paul or Embry pairing. I love them all for their own reasons. Tell me which you would prefer seeing this secretive and feisty Bella with when you review.<strong>_


	2. Chapter 2 Effing Myra

**Author's Note:** Thank you to those people who took the time to review. You've inspired me to post sooner than I was expecting.

**Disclaimer:** The Twilight universe belongs to Stephanie Meyer

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 2 – Effing Myra<strong>

BPOV

The next day at school after the Cullen's departure was comical to say the least. The rumour mill was in full swing, and the fodder was not high quality let me tell you.

Lauran Mallory had become the president of the "I heard Cullen couldn't stand the sight of her anymore, so they had to leave" club.

I did briefly considered whether I would make up my own "At least don't dress like a slut, and spread my legs for every guy I can in an attempt to get someone to like me" club, but I thought it might be a tad malicious.

My favourite rumour however, had to be the one where Charlie had apparently run Edward out of town with a shotgun for knocking me up. There was a LOT of speculation about whether I was going to keep the baby or sneak away to Port Angeles to have an abortion. Too funny. My fellow classmates really needed to find other hobbies.

Unfortunately, the gossip didn't roll off the back of others like it did mine. I heard Mike get into a fight with Jessica over something she was saying about me; telling her off for being a bitch and breaking up with her in a very public way. I seriously hoped that Mike was ending his relationship with her because of their own issues, and not because he thought he now had a chance we me. Jessica then spent the rest of the morning sending me death glares for my apparent role in their demise. Sigh.

Angela was also affected. She spent most of the day hovering with sympathetic concern etched all over her face. I was sitting alone at a usually unused table during lunch, busy stretching my suddenly achy muscles when she finally approached me directly.

"Hey Bella."

"Hi, how you going Ang?" I said happily as she sat down across from me.

"I'm good. I just wanted to see how you are going." She said tentatively, trying to work out if she was treading into forbidden territory or not.

I shrugged, "I'm fine."

She slowly nodded her head, obviously unsure how to now proceed.

"You don't have to worry about me, honestly." My sincerity seemed to appease her somewhat, and she gave me a shy smile.

"Okay, but just know I'm here if you need to talk about it."

"Thank you, Ang." She really was a nice girl, and a good friend despite my lack of real effort since my arrival.

"Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to go furniture shopping with me tomorrow?"

She flashed me a bright smile. " What are we buying?"

"Mainly a bed. I've decided to remodel my room, so I'll need the works."

"Sure, it sounds like fun."

"I'll give you a call later and organise a time."

The rest of the day seemed to pass slowly. My nose had started to run for no apparent reason and was starting to drive me nuts. On top of that the ache in my muscles seemed to have spread into my bones. I was most probably getting a cold from sitting on the frosty forest floor yesterday. Wonderful!

By the time I was walking to my car at the end of school the muscle pain was getting near the edge of my tolerance. I'd have to take some Tylenol before going to the hardware store with Charlie.

Out of reflex my eyes drifted to the now empty car space the used to belong to a silver Volvo.

_I really miss Edward._

What the…! I stopped dead in my tracks. That didn't even make sense. Why did I just think that? I had no real love for Edward. Truth be told, he annoyed the crap out of me. He was a self-righteous control freak who, whether he acknowledged it or not, thought himself above others due to his vampiric status. Why on earth would I miss that?

I shook myself free from the disturbing thoughts, and quickly made it to my truck. I had some slight difficulty unlocking it and getting the key in the ignition. I seemed to have gained a slight tremor to my hands to go along with the muscle aches. I knew something was not right. My mind and body both seemed to be betraying me for some reason.

I was half way home when my mind betrayed me again as my thoughts drifted back to Edward. Despite the logical part of my brain, I had a deep desire to be near him, to touch him, to breath in his scent. Urgh! Now that definitely didn't make sense. Vampire's smell as though something has crawled up their arse and died, quite literately. The last thing I want is to have one breathing all over me – and yet… I did. I wanted it really, really bad, and with each hour that passed, I realised that that desire had increased.

_Shit!_

Realisation hit me. Myra had told me about the lures of Vampires. Hell, even Edward had warned me. I had assumed that my shield protected me, but I was wrong. My shield only protected me from his mental lures like the alpha wave inducing frequency of his voice and the hypnosis of his eyes. However, I was just as susceptible as anyone else to the physical effect of his opiate laden breath. I was like a junkie. A vampire junkie, and it had been almost twenty-four hours since my last hit. I was coming down from my high and if I didn't have an animated dead thing breathing their stench on me soon I was going to crash and burn in a major case of withdrawal. Considering my "usage" this was going to be epically bad.

How had I not realised this? It seemed like a rather large oversight on my part, to have spent six months, twenty hours a day breathing in opiate vapour and not realising I was being drugged up to the gills. Even more perplexing, how did Myra not know?

That was actually an easy question to answer - she did know, she just didn't care. As long as I was able to complete my mission, any physical, emotional or mental consequences to myself didn't matter. I was just a tool for them to use. I was only acknowledged for my heritage and family connection when it was convenient to them. It made me angry. More than angry, I was livid.

I pulled into the curb outside my house, yanking up the hand break with a furious jerk. I retrieved my mobile phone from my school bag and sent a text message off to Myra demanding that she meet me immediately. Slamming the car door, I then stomped off towards the forest to await her arrival.

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><p>I'd been sitting in the little clearing just inside the woods next to my house contemplating how it was I came to be here in the mess I was currently in. At the age of sixteen years three hundred and sixty four days, I was just an everyday normal human girl. One day later, on my seventeenth birthday suddenly… I wasn't.<p>

Myra and her brother Merl both were waiting for me that day when I got home from school. They told me that they were my Great Aunt and Uncle, related to me through my Grandmother, Marie Swan, and that they had some very important things to tell me about my family.

As it turned out, important was perhaps a bit of an understatement considering Grandma Marie wasn't even human. Apparently, she was Quenya Elffaen, or in the modern vernacular, an Elf or Fae. At first I balked at their revelation and thought that they were batshit crazy, having watched a bit too much fantasy on television, but then they gave me a little display of their magic and showed me their little pointy ears. Those ears were so damn cute and I was instantly jealous. I obviously didn't inherit my ears from Grandma Swan. Mine weren't at all cute. They were big, round and stuck out like Dumbo's. So much so, I had to be careful that they didn't act as sails in a strong wind least I find myself momentarily air born.

Anyway, the gist of the story goes something like this: Grandma Swan fell in love and mated with a human behind her mother's back. Her mother being a Lady Fae, aka Queen, meant that this was a BIG deal. As punishment for her fraternising with a mortal, Marie was banished from the Fae people and required to have a suppression enchantment placed upon her and all of her future generations - Future generations here being Charlie and me. The suppression spell basically made it so that we had no special powers and were completely mortal ourselves despite our ancestry.

Being part Fae explained some things about myself I hadn't really noticed were weird until it was brought to my attention. Like the fact that I was so fair and unfreckled despite having lived sixteen years in the Arizona sun. The suppression spell also explained my clumsiness, an "unfortunate side-effect" they said that came with the removal of my Fae senses. Yeah, tell that to my ten times over concussed head and multiple broken bones.

These revelations of course provoked the expected response of "why the hell are you telling me all of this?" Apparently, while I was too tainted to be good enough to be considered family under normal circumstances, I was good enough when they wanted something from me. It's always the way, isn't it.

Myra told me that the Fae had been keeping an eye on a group of Vampire's called the Volturi, and it appeared as though they had started to make strategic purchases of human businesses – media outlets, defence companies, financial institutions. The Fae believed that this was a pre-emptive move. Due to the nature of vampires, i.e. their diet and obvious disco ball physicality, they were not able to hide as well as other supernatural beings. This in combination with human technological advances in the last century meant that it was only a matter of time before some vampire exposed themselves, most likely getting caught on camera and finding the video footage posted on YouTube.

It only took me a minute to understand the significance of such an event. Once people got over the fact that some mythological creatures were in fact real, they wouldn't be too fond of being made food and would move to defend themselves. Likewise, Vampires weren't exactly going to sit around waiting to be blown up. It would certainly lead to war, and with a Vampire's ability to recruit it would be a war humans were unlikely to win. Actually, let me rephrase that: we would get our arses handed to us, gift wrapped with a bow, and we would become nothing more than cattle.

The Fae therefore, were looking at countermeasures. The reason I was given was because that despite the fact they don't like tainting their precious blood with that of mortals and thereby creating part-breeds like me, they still believe every self-aware being as the right to live their lives in peace freely. Of course such a sentiment was meant to show just how gracious and honourable the Fae were. I however wasn't fooled into thinking that they were doing it just for the benefit of mankind. Vampire's bent on world domination was sure to have a direct impact on the Fae sooner or later, and they were simply moving to cover their own backsides when it was most advantageous.

Finally after all these explanations they got down to the brass tacks of their visit. They're greatest problem with creating an offensive position was a lack of information. They had plenty of intelligence from the outside looking in, but nothing on the inner workings of Vampire society and organisation. There were a number of issues involved in gaining information from the inside.

One was that it was hard to get close to a vampire if you were warm-blooded without becoming a meal. I thought that was a pretty big issue, kind of top of the list in fact. The Fae thought they had found a way around it when they heard of some "vegetarian" Vampires or animal blood drinkers known as the Cullen's. The biggest problem then was finding someone to put undercover and get close to them. A full human could not be trusted and most supernatural being have indicators that reveal them as being otherworldly. They needed someone who was human enough to be above suspicion but supernatural enough to have the senses to pick up things humans couldn't.

It also didn't hurt that while the Fae smell very appealing to vampires, their blood is highly toxic, like vamp cyanide. It was with that false belief I had gone to see James some months later, thinking I would be too poisonous for his bite to do anything to me. Apparently, it would take a good year after the suppression spell was removed before I would reach full toxicity, something Myra had failed to tell me until _after_ my near death experience. I did however succeed in making Edward very sick. He had thrown up all of the blood he had consumed not long after drinking from me. Carlisle thought it was because he was unable to stomach the venom of another vampire. The fact was that he was just very, very lucky I was still so diluted.

The Fae also had to account for another problem – not getting caught out through vampire's using their gifts. And this is where I specifically came in. A common gift among my Grandmother's line was a mental immunity to vampire gifts. They believed is was part of her being a Knowledge Fae, that being a Fae whose powers revolve around the acquiring and keeping of information. It was believed that if the suppression enchantment was removed then I would also have this trait. As it turns out, I did.

After this big reveal, and them explaining exactly what was a stake, it wasn't much of a guilt trip to accepting the mission they were asking of me. It was also immensely convenient that the Cullen's were in Forks, my father's hometown, and I had to wonder if the Fae had something to do with them being there at that time.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when Myra finally showed her ethereal face. She was tall and slender, with long wavy golden hair and piercing blue eyes. She wore a long flowing dress that shimmered and looked completely out of place considering the surroundings.

"Isabella, you said there was an emergency…" she said in her deep and earthy voice, that instantly calmed despite my desire to maintain my anger.

"Yes, it appears you failed to tell me of yet another important aspect in my mission." I bit out, making sure she understood how displeased I was.

"I do not understand, I was led to believe that your mission was completed as of yesterday."

"It was, however you failed to tell me that I would be being doped up every time I was in their presence and now I'm at the beginning of going through opiate withdrawals."

"I did tell you when I instructed you in Vampire anatomy." She said with perfect sincerity. Are you kidding me woman!

"Yes, but you were talking about its effects on humans, you didn't tell me I would susceptible to it."

"But you are human."

Oh my God, I've never wanted to punch someone in the face so much than I do her right now.

"I'm also Fae and you said Fae were immune." Knowing this line of argument was useless I decided for another tactic. "You better not tell me there was an inoculation or something against it or I wont be happy."

She just stood there with blinking eyes, as I tired to meet her gaze she suddenly found the tree next to me very interesting.

"There was wasn't there?"

Her jaw clenched, an obvious indicator that she knew she had fucked up but wasn't willing to admit it to a lowly half-breed like myself. "Yes, there is a bark of a tree that can be made into a tea that binds and flushes out the opiate."

"And you're telling me this now." I hoped she saw the fire in my eyes, felt the weight of my displeasure. " Will it help with detox?"

"No. It only works if consumed within a 12 hour period of initial exposure. "

I was so annoyed. I could have drunk some everyday if I'd known and I'd be fine now, but instead I'm going to have to suffer through withdrawals because Myra was a narcissistic idiot.

"Is there anything you know of that would help with detox?" I ground out slowly, suddenly feeling every ache in my tired body.

"Water."

_Water is the best thing you can do. Fabulous._

"So how long can I expect these withdrawals to last?"

"About a month, maybe more."

"A month!" I was horrified. If the pain I was currently in was only an indicator of what was to come, I didn't know what I was going to do. How was I meant to hide a month worth of withdrawal symptoms from Charlie?

"Maybe more." She said like it was nothing.

"I assume this will be the last time I'll be seeing you."

"It should be. Have you acquired any more powers?" She asked in a nonchalant fashion, but I wasn't fooled.

"No."

I was disappointed it was the truth. Apart from the shield and a major improvement in my memory I hadn't gained any turbo extras. I was sports kit Bella, not Pimped out Bella. But even if I had I wouldn't be telling Myra. Part of the deal when I accepted the mission was that the suppression spell was to remain removed. I had argued that taking this job would put me on the supernatural radar and I would need methods of protecting myself in case anything unforseen occurred afterwards. Despite coming to this agreement I had no trust that they wouldn't go back on their word once they had got what they wanted. There simply was no trust or loyalty there for me. They hadn't earned it so I didn't give it, and even when I had earned it they weren't going to give it to me either.

"Then I see no reason for us to be in contact with you again."

"Good." And with that I stomped off back towards the house.

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><p>AN: As with most writers here on fanfiction I'm getting lots of hits but not many reviews. If you have time to read you have time to review even if it's only two words like "Good job". Share the love, it makes the world go round. :)


	3. Chapter 3  Junkie

**Author's Note:** Thank you lovely people for all your reviews.

**If the spell was removed why she is still clumsy?** Post suppression spell Bella is not ridiculously clumsy. I touched on this only subtly in the first chapter. She only appeared to be clumsy/china doll in order to present a damsel in distress persona to draw Edward in by making him the Knight in shinning armor.

**huinsutt99 **– You're on my wave length. )

I could always do with a beta reader. If you're interest let me know.

**Disclaimer:** The Twilight universe belongs to S.M.

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 3 – Junkie<strong>

Not long after I left Myra in the woods everything turned to crap. The nausea had started, crippling me as my stomach cramped and bile raced to met my uvula, only for me to swallow it back down again.

It was a losing battle that soon had me embracing the porcelain toilet like it was my greatest friend in the whole wide world, which admittedly at this moment it was. I was sitting on the floor with my cheek resting on the toilet seat when Charlie found me when he came back from work, poking his head inside the open bathroom door.

"You alright Bella?" Concern etching his features.

I groaned in the negative.

"Do you need to see a doctor?"

Absolutely not. What could I possibly tell them? I'm sick because I'm detoxing from the effects of supernatural Percocet that comes in a special glittery bottle. I don't think so. I also had no idea what type of results any tests might yield if they decided to give me any. Would they pick up that I was something other? Too risky.

"No" I groaned, "it's just some stomach bug that's been going around." I lied, hoping Charlie would leave it at that.

"Oh, okay. Anything can I get for you?"

"Water. _Lots_ of water." Yes, the only option I had now thanks to effing Myra. I was most likely in dire need of fluids now anyway. I had evacuated any remaining contents from my stomach, and was now only dry retching. I hate that shit. I'd rather throw up water than gag on air. My stomach muscles ached double time from the effort.

"And a bucket." I added as an afterthought.

I had started to notice chills running through me even though I was sweating profusely, and my heart felt like it was going a million miles an hour and was about to sprint out of my chest. I wanted to try and find comfort in my bed rather than spending the night curled up on the hard cold tiled bathroom floor.

"Okay kiddo, be back in a minute." He said as he disappeared down the stairs.

I didn't even try and stand. I knew it would only make my head spin, so instead I slowly plodded along on all fours across the hallway to my bedroom. I heaved myself up with a groan onto my mattress and under the covers. I vaguely remember Charlie entering with a large bottle of water and a laundry bucket before my world went fuzzy and I lost myself to a night full of technicolour nightmares or hallucinations – I'm not sure which.

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><p>If the first day of detox had me thinking I was dying, then the second day made me believe I had passed through all of the first seven circles of Hell, slowly.<p>

I don't remember really being ever truly awake or asleep, but constantly somewhere in between. However it is what detoxing did to my senses that made me believe I was being tortured. Everything was too loud, too bright, and too scratchy. It was like someone running their fingernails down a chalkboard while flashing a strobe light in my face as they tickled me with a steel wool scourer. I was so overstimulated my body felt like it was constantly on the verge of shutdown but just couldn't find a way to turn itself off.

Even more disturbing than the physical effects where the psychological ones. The real me, the Bella that relied on logic, information and maturity was in a battle of wills against the junkie within me, the Bella that thought of nothing else than getting her next fix and ending all this pain and suffering.

There were some particularly deranged moments where I found myself wondering if it was only a direct hit from their breath that had an opiate effect or whether I could get the same results from inhaling their scent in general. I cursed myself for my haste in changing the sheets on my bed that still carried Edward's scent. I then cursed myself for even thinking that before contemplating whether I should attempt a trip down the stairs in my woozy condition to retrieve them from the laundry despite the high risk of personal injury. Sick. Sick. Sick.

Unfortunately, the flu excuse only lasted for the four days of my excruciating detox period. While I was no longer nauseated and achy, my body needed at least a month to relearn how to make its own natural happy chemicals. I consequently found myself in a near zombie state of depression. There were no highs, but there also were no lows. My life was a monotone flat line without variation, and I was desperate just to feel, to experience some real emotion just to know I was still alive.

Charlie had started to become worried, pushing the need to seek medical attention more and more. So while I was loathed to do it, I gave him the only justification I could to get him off my back and told him that my moroseness was the result of finally realising that my breakup with Edward was real, and that he was never coming back.

Eventually this excuse was accepted by the general populous as the reason behind the bulk of my weird behaviour. To everyone but me, my lack of appetite was not because I was going through drug withdrawal but a result of heartbreak. My inability to listen to music or watch television was not from sensory issues but a result of heartbreak. Not being able to stand hearing Edward's or the Cullen's name was not because I hated that it invoked the need to snort a vampire – no, it was heartbreak. And the way I would cross my arms and tuck my hands under my armpits was not to hide the telltale tremors of my addiction; no, it was to stop myself falling apart from heartbreak.

I was ambivalent about how effortlessly this excuse was accepted. Part of me rejoiced that it was so easy for me to hide what was really happening, and that most people preferred to leave me well enough alone, not asking too many questions. On the other hand I was pissed. Did people really believe that I was so pathetic and weak that I would give up who I was so completely for a boy?

Apparently, they did.

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><p>It was currently Friday night, one month to the day since my last hit of vampire crack. Seeing as I was so successfully alienating all my school friends, and hadn't yet pressed Charlie to engage in our daddy daughter dates, he thought he would encourage some social bonding by inviting the Black men over for football and pizza. I was busy being a patty pooper up in my room when I heard the front doorbell heralding their arrival.<p>

"Bells." Charlie yelled up the stairs in a tone the brooked no argument.

I trudged down stairs, ready to inflict my currently monotone personality on our poor unsuspecting guests.

I turned into the kitchen where Charlie and Billy were busy stacking their plates with pizza, and Jacob awaited me with a big bright smile that engulfed his young face. His expression was loaded with obvious expectation. I was going to have to tell him that with the two-year age difference it just wasn't going to happen. It wasn't entirely his fault of course, I had somewhat encouraged it.

Some months ago I had used my womanly charms to find out just how aware the Quileute's were of the Cullen's true nature. Jake had told me some of the tribe's secret legends while walking along the beach. Apparently their ancestors were very good at Chinese Whispers and were right on the money, although no one seemed to truly believe the old tales in this age of science. Seeing as it didn't appear that they would blow my cover I had just filed the episode away as a step in the mission, but now it seemed to be coming back to bite me in the arse.

"Hey Bella, how have you been?"

"I'm fine. You?" I answered nonchalantly, as I grabbed an empty plate and made way over to the table, sorting through the boxes until I found my favourite.

"Nothing to complain about."

"Good to hear." I said as I leaned over the box to take a whiff of the pizza.

I know it was an odd habit, but I never ate anything without sniffing if first. It had become a long established tradition from Renee's cooking days. If the combination of odours was weird, I knew to proceed with extreme caution. The scents of sausage meat, tomato sauce, cheese, basil, sandalwood and a touch of vanilla assaulted my nostrils. _Wait, why did my pizza smell like sandalwood and vanilla?_ Those idiots at the pizza parlour better not of spilt something on my dinner.

I picked up a piece of pizza and held it right under my nose and took in another large draw of air. This time only the sausage, tomato and cheese where the most prevalent scents. Strange.

I placed my pizza on plate and turned to grab a soda. I noticed Jacob just standing at the table looking at me with an amused smirk on his boyish face.

"What?"

"What _are_ you doing?" he asked, with a slight shake of his head.

"I thought the pizza smelled funny."

"Funny, how?"

"I don't know, just… funny." I said, looking at my dinner with confusion.

He chuckled and leaned over me and inhaled. Suddenly the smell of basil, sandalwood and vanilla invaded my senses completely, causing an incredibly pleasant tingly sensation to creep through my body starting from my toes.

_Whoa!_ So the incredibly yummy smell was Jacob. I took another deep breath. This time it made my lady parts throb. _Holy shit!_

"Smells fine to me," Jacob said, leaning back.

"Yeah, fine." _Fine, indeed._

What the hell was going on with me? I liked Jacob, I did. He was a nice boy – boy here being the operative word. Though… I had to admit he was a good-looking guy. He was nice and tall, with a kind face, bright endearing smile, smooth russet skin, well-formed slimline muscles, dark smouldering eyes that could see into the depths of my soul. I wonder if he's proportionate?

Oh. My. God. Bella! You did not just think that about little Jacob Black I scolded myself.

_I bet not so little._

This was getting out of hand. I should not be thinking these things. As far as I was concerned thoughts of him and me wanting to play with myself in response to those thoughts should be mutually exclusive, but at this moment they _so_… weren't.

I suddenly didn't know how to act around him and I didn't trust myself to be appropriate, so made my escape into the lounge room. I had the errant thought that it just might be a Quileute thing, so I made sure to take a good whiff of Billy as I passed by. He only smelt like pine, malt and musk, which thank God was in no way arousing because that would have just been disturbing.

I had to conclude it was just a Jake thing, but I couldn't be sure without a larger sample size, but it's not like I could go down to the rez and just sniffing their male population. Well, actually… No! No, I couldn't do that.

Jake joined me on the other end of the couch with his plate stacked with at least five pieces of pizza. We sat a both pretended to watch the game, but it was obvious neither of us where really into it. I tried on several occasions to start conversation, but I just didn't know what to say as my mind kept drifting off on naughty tangents every time I inhaled. Luckily Jacob didn't seem to be having a mini-meltdown like me and rescued me from the highly inappropriate word vomit that would surely come out of my mouth as the evening progressed.

"So, what do you do for fun?"

"Read."

"That doesn't sound very exciting." He scoffed.

I guess not. "I most probably need to get out more." I conceded.

"Well, if you ever get board you could always come help me with my rabbit."

I frowned. "That your pet?" Unless we put it on a track with a couple of greyhounds I failed to see how that would be overly entertaining.

He burst out laughing. "No, it's a car. I'm in the middle of rebuilding the engine."

All coherent thought went out of my mind when images of Jake shirtless and covered in grease entered my mind. STOP! I screamed at myself. I shouldn't be thinking about him that way, he was just a kid.

That said, I couldn't deny how his scent made me feel, and I realised it was the first natural chemical reaction I'd had since my detox other than pain. If vampires were a type of depressant than Jake must be some sort of stimulant, and I was curious to find out why. I assured myself that as long as I kept on reminding myself that he was just like a little brother and nothing more, I'd be fine.

"Okay, sounds like fun."

"Really?" he said obviously excited. I was going to have to tread lightly, make sure he understood we were just friends.

"Yeah, why don't I come round tomorrow?"

"That would be great."

I was obviously a glutton for punishment, but at least it broke up the current monotony of my withdrawal.


End file.
